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Smiley's Arsenal (by T. David)
No road trip is complete without the likes of Michael Stange. We KNOW he's not going to behave. Even that look - "What? Who me?" - does not fool us.
Kadunce takes over driving because Yeti can't drive and Smiley hits too many road cones and attracks too many state troopers. We want to get to Skirmish without any cops pulling us over and seeing the "arsenal" we have in back. That might be bad.
Aw - Ain't they cute! Look how affectionate they are.
This is Matt Robertson. He's very serious and our raunchy antics are beneath him. That is...
...Until Stange decides to get him to loosen up with a little "nipple twist" or some "Bangcock" - - - That is until Matt tries to scare Stange off with his trusty pump rifle.
On the other hand, Stange "orally" demonstrates his lack of fear towards Matt's paint rifle.
And of course Yeti notices while Maline just shakes his head.
Liking Matt's paint rifle a little too much, Stange starts to get way too frisky for Matt's comfort.
Stange takes a moment to demonstrate some graphiti.
Water - Check
Deodorant - Check
Sun glasses - Check
Ammo harness - Check
Condoms for that easy chick Stange might find on the paintball field - double and triple check!
Oh wait! Where's his Paintball gun?
Stange takes a moment to demonstrate the correct and disciplined way to eat a cream donut.
Riding the Troop Bus to insertion point the insertion point.
Smiley's friend Tate takes a moment to check out Smiley's new pistol "BABY".
Stange discovers that when you dress like a freak, you attract other freaks.
The two biggest freaks at Skirmish take a moment to bond.
Stange takes a moment to show some thigh while he adjusts his jock/cup.
Lonely and desperate, Smiley puts the moves on a female referee. To his disappointment, she shoots him down for someone else who isn't such a "fanatic" in the sport of paintball.
But rest ashore, Smiley finds his true love a mere 30 feet away.
They look so happy!!
Speedo Boy - "I like your tie"
Smiley - "Please tell me you're wearing a cup in that Speedo?"
After chasing down flag snatchers, getting shot at by cheaters, hiking through the back fields of Skirmish, and harassing the enemy teams rear flank, Smiley, Matt, and Yeti take a moment to stop and relax at an in-field rest stop.
And alas, a special thank you to Matt Robertson who filmed the entire first day instead of playing. Thank you again.
-Smiley